Sunday, August 03, 2008

I love you

In the last couple of hours I realised that it takes more than just words to show some one how much you actually love them. I realised that it takes 100% courage to step up and do what is needed to save that person's love for you. In many cases I had wished that moment of truth came later, much more later.


I have in the last two months been trying to better myself. Better myself so that I could once again maybe ask for a chance to make things right. I was given that chance and suddenly so many things happened just because of a name that showed up on phone last night. My dearest Angel, I know now what you fear most is not what she could have done or what she did but the fact that it was her name that hurt us before. I have done what I had to do and that was to choose. And i choose you. I choose to be a part of you and your life.





There are times where some times we forget who we are. I forgot who i was to you in your life Angel. There are times where i regret making the wrong decisions and accepting the end result when it happens. I know i have done wrong my baby.. i know i have make a lot of mistakes in our relationship. I know that when i should have listened i didn't. This old andrew has grown up, mature, a better person. That same person you loved darling.

I have stopped telling lies to my baby. I have been for the past couple of months and i have been sincere with baby. I know it happened the way it happened but it was not what you thought. I have been trying to explain to you ever since you drove off. THERE IS NO ONE ELSE MORE IMPORTANT. Yes i couldn't do it in front of you again but that was because I had already talked to her and explained to her what was going on and what i had to do and she is the one who is encouraging me to get back to you. Cos the andrew that everyone knows is not the same Andrew sitting here today with a broken heart and sad life with angel. What happened just happened and i couldnt stop it from happening but you were getting upset because of? I was trying to tell you what had happened earlier in the day and it was the truth.




Looking back in time, we've made really great memories angel. So much that it is very hard to forget what we've gone through together in the last 4 years. We've both matured and grown up in our own ways. I was unfortunately the slower one. People always told me that I deserved a girl who was a bit more mature, one that can match my attitude and character. They were wrong. You were always my perfect match and looking at the years we've been together and the pictures we've taken proves it. I know our relationship has been a tough one by far. Our differences and thoughts but we've survived 4 years together and I hope that there would be more years to come. Forever and ever babe.

There's a video clip just at the start of this. I don't know if you remember this but it was during our exams and both of us was studying in your car. Well at least you were studying where as myself i was busy with the camera taking pictures of you and capturing a video of you. In our relationship we've both watched each other grow up and changed over time. I wouldn't that up for anything darling. Not for anyone for the matter. I am here now baby... begging you. Loving you more than ever. I realised in the last two months away from each other that I was not complete. My better half and soul was not with me. The first few weeks was tough on me especially during weekends where I would usually be with you. I cried for days wishing that this was merely a dream. And when i woke up you would be there next to me with your silly grin that you have and kiss me gently on my forehead where you would tell me that it was all a dream and that I had nothing to be afraid of. But i never woke up from that dream.

I dedicated a song to you some time ago... You were always on my mind sung by Michael Buble. That song really woke me up baby and until now it holds a powerful meaning to me.

Artist: Elvis Prestley
Title: You were always on my mind

Maybe I didnt treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didnt love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasnt died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Maybe I didnt hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
Im so happy that youre mine
If I make you feel second best
Girl, Im sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasnt died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind

------------------------

I have always listened to the song as if it was any other love song. You and i both agree that the power of song is the most powerful thing when used at the right time. In my years growing up i've always known this song but never understood what it really meant until we were apart. When ever I was sad and miss you a lot I would always listen to the song. To remind me of the wrong things I've done and the things i should have done when you needed me. For that i am really sorry baby. You were always on my mind, every day of my waking life you were always on my mind.

I have been putting together this video montage for you baby... its our history and life... i hope you like it. I hope we can talk soon darling. Cos we really need to talk...