Wednesday, October 11, 2006

some thing interesting

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

Livin' in a van - down by the river

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

welcome to my world

I am not even going to start wondering why i've not been updating this blog. Sure i had plenty of time for it but i never got around to doing so. 1 word lazy. But here is a quick update anyways since i have so much time to spare now. Its MORE like waiting for 1pm so we can head out for lunch. Oh yeah this lazy bum is finally working now, Inter-Global Media (M) Sdn Bhd, as their web developer. The only web developer ;) Finally a job which pays me for doing what i do best.. programming. Its my third week in and i'm already involved with a couple of projects. But unlike my days back in APIIT where every thing that can be done last minute GETS done last minute, here its no longer ther little league. Had to force myself to get organized and for once follow the project time line. Maybe will put up a portfolio later on of some of the websites i've built from scratch in a whole new language which i was never thought back in APIIT... PHP. Heck its only one more additional language for me to learn no biggie. But i have to say this.. its way more power compared to ASP. I said compared to ASP not ASP.NET.

I just took a few pictures on my phone of some of the people i work with. Here they are... in no particular order..

Boon... editor for our community website IA-Community. Wanted to snap a picture of him looking busy but he was paying more attention to what i was doing. lolz. In the background is Michelle our assistant gm to our gm. Oh the picture is a little blur i think. I had to zoom in to take that picture.

Zairol & Wan... two of the many graphic designers working here. Unfortunately Ogee and the other girl is not around so can't snap a pic ;) Working hard huh boys... or is it porn ;)

My very empty office.. i don't normally sit where i took this picture. this is from ogee's table. if you look in the pic in the background to the right where there is a stack of things on the table. that forsaken area with 4tables is my place. its been as of late a place for them to temporarily put their next exhibition forms, printers and stuff. There used to be a table against the wall behind me where all the junk used to sit. Then the sales team moved into the office above and they took tables from out office leaving me with a huge empty space behind me. not to mention the mosquito's... see the brown down to the very back.. that's the kitchen and for some reason its a breeding ground for mosquito's...

well its 5 to 1pm.. almost time to go makan. catch up with this later on...

Wednesday, March 01, 2006


wow it seems like eons since i checked back here. yes yes been busy with life and catching up with two months of lost time with angel. been back in brunei for 2mths. yes that's how long i've been away from angel. this blog won't be a long one or of any topic.. just an off random aka i am bored post. but now that i am back a lot of things to catch up on especially with the jobs. need to pick up a few more free lance projects. hehe.. any takers ;) other than that just staying alive. long story. will make the effort in the morning to snap a quick picture of things which i recently been graced with. oh planning to start a MOBLOG soon. still figuring out the best place to store the pics then post them here... would be interesting and a first for me. will see how long before i attempt this project. hahaha.. yeah lazy. oh well..

before i forget a special Good Luck to a fellow blogger and friend, Tabbie. If you're in Singapore (or you're from SG.) this weekend 4th March drop by to the NTUCO Concert @ 7.30pm, Singapore Conference Hall. Tabbie would be performing that night.

its now 10 to 3am.. i guess i should hit the sack... like i said its a short post. honestly lazy to speak my mind at the moment. have a read over at tabbie's, her blog is rather interesting filled with an insight to how she lives her life and her daily rants about stuff. cheers...

Monday, January 23, 2006

wats wrong wif me?

i really messed up big time... since our pack for 2006 we've not had any arguements of sort. i wouldn't call tonite an arguement but its bad enough. again when angel needed me to be all that i can be i failed and let her down again. i know i might sound like a girl for saying this but its really unfair that this is happening right now. i should have taken more responsibility with my own actions and i didnt step up. one side of me wants to blame the fact that i am back here in brunei for the holidays while the other blames myself for not being back in kl, by angel's side working on the task while she slept. like we always did in previous projects together. to make matters worse.. of all nights for me to feel blue and depressed none of my close friends are on to chat wif me. sorry jas if i did wake you up and leaving the messages on msn. i didn't know who else to talk to...

angel has asked me several times about my own future and what i wanted to do with myself in my life. there were several times last year we had stupid arguements about this. here i am a 25yr old guy who is scared shit about living the life that i wanted for myself. i mean yes i want a successful carrer and a loving family but it took me so long to realise that maybe i was a little scared. sure angel kicked the living shit out of me that night and it really hit me that same nite. actually it was a couple of nites after. i do know what i want in life but i am scared of dreaming it because everytime i do some thing is bound to happen and pushes me further back. i am until today still scared of my past and of it happening in my current life. it is a plague that i have to live wif maybe till after i graduate or for the rest of my life. a plague where its a constant reminder of the stupid things i did in the past. things which i shouldn't have allowed to happen which casted me out of the family circle. if you think your life is bad wait till you step into my shoes and into my memories. the things i've kept secret, the pain i've suffered.... the thoughts and reliving each moment hurts enough.

but for tonite.. i really don't know where to even start to say sorry to angel. this is the 4th or 5th time i've let her down on the same topic. it came up to the point where she said some things which really hurt. i know it was my fault and i am guilty of letting it happen. i failed her the first time when she needed me to make things right, i failed her the second time when it was a chance given... i cost her the finals.... and now i am giving her a heartattack for not, yet again, being able to complete it on time again. but tonite was really my sour luck... first all my work was not saved cos pops turned off the pc and didn't save my work... resulting to me having to re do every thing again.. then my two stupid dogs outside decided to turn adventurer and decided to escape, and it took us almost an hour to get them home again... then angel was starting to get impatient with me and really let me have it and the pressure was on yet again. i don't even know why i bothered to re do the whole thing.. maybe she was right could have settled for second best but i couldn't risk it... and in the end i affected her as well... who in the right world would cause this much problem to the girlfriend especially since she's done so much for me and given me the chance to work it at my own pace provided i get it done... i failed her... i lost her trust....

i am sorry angel i truely am... i only wished that u would believe me that i am getting just as much pressure from my parents and just being at home. i am on the loosing end here... for the first time in a long time my chest pains are starting up again... i found out that when ever i am like super sad or blue it starts.... its like a sign tat my heart is aching... i do have a heavy heart right now... a heart full of guilt....