Wednesday, October 12, 2005

officially unemployed and bored

not too long ago we completed our honours degree and since then i've been bumming around working on robot projects, gift boxes and programming projects. i do miss the times when i was still travelling each day to college to be educated (yeah right!) and it was those times that i hated most and wished college would end. now the thought of actually going out there and working lurks at the back of my mind. already some of my classmates have started working. what am i going to do with myself? that is the question i ask myself every morning when i wake up. as much as i would like to get a job there is this thought that keeps me posted in reality. am i ready? did the RM19k /year education pay off? did i benefit anything? am i ready? i even asked a couple of my friends who were just recent grads what it was like to start work for them. then i have a friend in singapore whom after graduated started working for the arm's forces. each time i ask her wat she actually does she would reply "sorry drew that's classified". how cool is that to be able to use those exact words that we always hear in the movies.

i seem to be lost for words tonite. even though college is out i find myself still worrying. results aren't out yet and the moderation board is this week with a bigger team of UK experts this time around. you know what i am afraid of most right now... not being able to see angel as often as i want to. yeah we live in the same state let alone in the same country. i am worried for angel as well. a few days back we were browsing (is there a .my at the end?) and she was telling me that she didn't want to start a job that was related to IT or computing. she didn't want to only because she felt that she isn't that good in the field. she actually is just that she has not had the chance to shine yet. some times i feel like a huge jerk for pushing her to try. i wished i could do more for her but i can't be there all the time even though i want to. i want her to be independant. come to think of it right... *20 minutes to be exact!* this is the exact same feeling that i had when my brother first came over to KL to stay with me and study over here. My bro has always been the manja one in the family as he's the youngest and being the big bro and him like the best friend i never had it really worried me when he first went off to college on his own without me to show him the way to college. that was back when i rented a room in pj. every day when he came home late or at least before i did i would worry. what i was more afraid of was people making fun of him. maybe its brotherly love that i was protective of him. i guess for angel its almost similar. as much as i want her to be independant i am afraid that people will bully her as she is rather quiet at time and scared of facing people some times. we were having lunch one day after one of our presentations and we ran a flat. after it was changed i asked her what she would have done if i was not there and she had to do it herself, her reply was in a cute manner "i would cry! but i don't have to worry, i always have you by my side to look after me" Angel if you're reading this... ahem forgive me for twisting the story a little. hehe.. sounds nicer this way you know :)

haiz.. oh was reading this blog called precious illusion and the author is from thailand i presume *sue me i've not checked her profile* and on one of her posts she posted a link to this mp3 called Noo Goo Do by J. korean song and she is indeed right it is a very nice song and i've not stopped repeating the song since. have to find a translation of the song to find out what it means.