Sunday, March 13, 2005

blue... just feeling reli blue

i know i've said this in all my blogs that i've not been posting and that is true... work has really gotten all of us at GF04B1 really stressed out.. thanks to our nice professional apiit.. lol.. but really none of us have had decent hours of sleep... recent one was aoom and for that my nick on msn changed to AOOM IS A BIACH!! to AOOM SUCKS (at the final hours) and today back to my very very old gaming nick... haiz... now only have one more to go then its the finals.... i want to die already. i just noticed that i use a lot of dots dots dots in my sentences.... << there i go again! hahaha.

but seriously.. as my baby angel sleeps peacefully *on the bed next to the computer* while i sit here on the computer talking to my sis while she works the grave yard shift back in brunei. i think to myself, i know i'm thinking of things but there isn't a specific or a particular thought. its just all jumbled up and that really makes me blue. recently i got news of my friends who graduated not too long ago have changed to a better job and a better pay. man that really scared me. i'm about to finish my college years and will i really survive out there working?? am i really ready? i was talking to angel about it in the car earlier on the way to the tailor's to get my pants, i was just telling her that after talking to my friend online about work it really got me thinking and it scared me cos not too long from now i would be graduating *hopefully* and soon after working. its not goin to be like group work and assignments where we do work with friends. its the real stuff. am i even prepared for it???????? are you prepared for it jas? micyuki?? this semester is about to end and a new one starting a month after our exams. time sure really flies when u are bogged down with work. litterally flying. i never thought of all this when i was in dip or in high dip. I Will Survive!!!

i find myself sometimes walking around looking lost. its the funniest sight ever if u ever catch me like tat. but i do roam the walk ways in college some times not knowing wat i'm thinking and its the only time that i wish i could go away. some where really far. then angel would touch my arm and ask, are you ok? i would smile and say... i'm alrite.... maybe its true that all pieces likes to dream. i'm a dreamer myself and have lots to achieve when i graduate. other times i just think about nothing or wat it would be like right about now in some country. your brain just turns off for a while then it goes into this thought phase (recharge phase i call it) where u don't do the walking or talkin. memories just float by and u try to remember everything.

i'm not making sense anymore. told u i was blue... a lot of things can't be said here. lots of things... :) for that i bid everyone good nite. i have to go look after my angel rite now... nites :)

-·=»‡«=·- §åtüRn -·=»‡«=·-

1 comment:

Micyuki said...

huahua...elmo, u hav just struck gold wif tat ques...actually its not weird to think about ur future, how it wud b and how can u survive out ther. that ques hav been playing in my mind since the last sem of h.dip. sometimes when u look at a person working (no matter wat job) do u wonder if they r happy with wat they r doin? do u wonder wat they actually wanted to be or wanted to work as? some workers hav no choice as some significant cause led them to their jobs tat they r doing right now. some of the reasons can be level of edu or no working experience... so, actaully yes, i wud b dissapointed if i dun get the job tat i want... i dream a lot ya know...lol...but for now, i dun dare think of anything yet as we hav a degree to handle right now :) so take it at a time and hope that everything goes well... all the best!