Monday, November 28, 2005

Link updates

I was just browsing through the links and realised that the WWE tribute videos has been moved to the archive already. Here are the updated links

WWE 1 2 3

Better yet here is a search for in the archive for all the tribute videos. Slowly go through them.

Its good to be back!!!

Wow its been ages since i posted a decent update. Wondering what the screaming was about in the previous post. Hehe... just keep guessing. It was a random post anyways so it has no relations to anything with my life or angel. Well i've been MIA for almost 2 weeks i think. Not that i was ever gone but rather busy with projects. It was like FYP all over again staying up late to help them finish up their documentation and work the necessary changes into the system so it meets their accademic requirements. Really am glad that both of them were impressed with their system. Here are a two screen shots each of the systems i did for them.

Roman Rock: {project status 100%}

On top main page of the website below it a sample when you log into the company intranet.

Tesco Smart Trolley (simulation): {project status 100%}

On top the system loging and below it the help page of the system.

To get a better picture of what the Smart Trolley is, picture yourself at Tesco hypermarket and you're pushing around a trolley with a small monitor mounted onto the push handle. Its meant to asist you while shopping with and not have you running around looking for price checkers or wondering how much you've spent in the trolley already. I've never seen such systems implemented in Malaysia. I could be wrong though, anyone seen it before? I know in Canada they have a RFID scanner on all their products so when you remove an item from the shelf camera's around will snap a picture of you then again when you check out. Its more of a anti theft device but never of such like the smart trolley. Who knows when i have the time i might actually take the time to develop such system and join the APICTA awards then get a grant to do a prototype then see it working in reality. WOW! hehe... At least i plan to.

Both projects fully CSS customized. If you really have a nack for design and colours CSS style sheets are like your best friends.

If only both of them were in our batch and in DWA class with us. Imagine what we can come up with as a team.

Well have not had much of a chance to browse the internet let alone watch tv so there isn't any new interesting stuff at the moment. Slowly adjusting back to the normal sleeping hours which isn't all that much sleep either. Will come back again later to post up things. Still have the last project to work on. Since i'm on a high designing graphics for websites thought i'd try my hand in workin a template for this blog later on.

Kudos to the people who dropped by.


Thursday, November 24, 2005



Thursday, November 17, 2005

mentally tired

just wanted to post a quick one before i wrap up the night. its been 1 week (plus a couple of days i think) straight working till 5.30 in the morning then sleeping for about 4hrs then getting up and repeating the cycle all over again. Officially i am brain dead working on instincts only.

here is something interesting that i found on the internet when i googled for images to use for the tesco project. the resolution is terrible but you can just make out the writing. its a singaporean police report which was hillarious to read. When i find the original source of this picture *who posted it* i will link it here.

also came across a couple of interesting blogs which i know its worth mentioning here. I've spent some time reading them and the open thoughts especially coming from singaporeans. i saved the urls but my bookmarks is in a mess right now. have been saving all sorts of links on firefox and its so long that you have to use the arrow to scroll up the list just to click on the "bookmark this" link.

and you thought i was joking when i had to scroll up just to hit the bookmark link. you also probably notice the heading on my firefox browser... i was reading up at this other blog (again singaporean for i have no idea why most of the search results came back from singapore) about singapore being used as a sex-hub. that doesn't mean i look down on my friends over there. i do have wonderful friends who live a normal life. then again what is a normal life?

Angel received the second call back from game flier yesterday morning! Congratulations! her training starts this friday for 2 days. Then its entirely up to her if she wants to stick this job. As for me i found an add in the papers that caught my attention. its to work with e-Genting group. Sending in my resume soon once i get it done. have been putting it off.

Project Status:
Roman Rock 98%
Tesco Smart Trolley 70% (user requirements changed)
now what did i call the last project?? 85%

Brain Status:
Clocking at 100% used

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Death of a wrestling superstar

I am and have always been a great fan of WWE Wrestling. If you're an old timer like me you would have grown up watching wrestling on tv. Tv3 has been showing WWE and Smackdown for years now. Then on Astro Supersport CH80 every Tuesday at 10pm. Can't say i've watch much of Smackdown but enough of it to make Eddie Guerrero my favourite wrestler from Smackdown. I didn't catch yesterday's RAW so i only just heard of this news when my brother came online and his msn nick read "Eddie Guerrero 1967-2005 (R.I.P)". At first i thought it was a joke so i googled it and true enough this WWE Smackdown superstar has passed away last Sunday, November 14. To my understanding this weeks show was a tribute show to Eddie. You can read a sypnosis of this episode at the end of the post.

After John Cena's match he paid tribute to Eddie, taking off his Eddie Guerrero t-shirt and placed it on the mat with his championship belt on top of it. His way of saying "You're always a champion".

1. Pittsburgh Tribune
2. Forbes
4. Yahoo! News

1. WWE website
2. Sypnosis of Raw 13/11/2005
3. TNA Mourns The Passing Of Eddie Guerrero
4. WWE Updated

Eddie's Guerrero:
1. Carrer
2. Pictures
3. WWE Tribute Pictures

Tribute Video's:
1. WWE 1 2

My condolences to the Guerrero family.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Zouk Abuse

was just browsing around when a particular blog caught my attention. Zouk.Abuse by ju-lee which documents the recent turn of events that happened on halloween night over at zouk. I was not there when it happened and only just found the blog. I've only read half way down the page and decided to post it up here first before i forget about it. Its sad to hear such things happening and no one lifted a hand to help. Typical! yeah go shoot me or sue me but its the honest truth. Sure there are others who are of good heart and faith but rare to see. Picture yourself on the road and its crawl then you later find out that it was a car accident that everyone is just KEPO want to see and not move along to allow the authorities to get to the scene on time. Then comes the usual comments would come on the police was slow to arrive and the ambulance. We should actually train those tow truck dudes and their coolies first aid. I swear one accident that there would be around 5 of them first on the scene.

I am only a person and there isn't much i can contribute to help you guys out except publish your blog here as well. I hope justice will be served and punishment be brought upon the guilty ones. I totally support what you are trying to do over at your blog and the hell with the people with the unconstructive criticism. malaysians will be malaysians.

Monday, November 14, 2005


took angel to her interview today and man the place is not called HeiTech for no reason. Every where you go in the building u had to scan your id just to get into doors. Amazing. Strange but amazing. So there we were waiting in the reception? lobby? of game flier at 9.45am and one of the staff went in to call another staff who was looking after the interviews. We took a seat and waited for about 10 minutes before a lady came out and took angel to this room to fill in all the necessary paper work and then told her to wait for the person interviewing her. So we waited again for quite some time. It was almost half an hour i think before he came out. I thought to myself... FINALLY! hahaha... As i was sitting there in the lobby waiting i couldn't help but notice that most of the staff at game flier hq was females. Not that there is anything wrong but i counted more females over males at this place. Wow! not a bad place to work i reckon. but again the hours are nuts. According to angel listed on the paper were 3 selections to choose from if they were asked to work for them. as per trial they all would have to start 8-30am to 5-30pm shifts to which after 2mths they will be shifted to the other shift of 4-00pm to 1-00am. I WAS LIKE WHOA!!! what happened to the 1pm to 10pm? it was reserved for those who had transportation problems. hahaha... but it being next to summit... this place is FOREVER JAMMED!

ok time to hit the showers. post back here in a bit.

ahem ahem

yeah yeah i know i was suppose to post the other night but i was kinda busy. for some reason that night after getting work done i was not in for the rest of the evening and only got back at 11.30pm and was super too tired to do anything. Didn't even touch the projects even. Its now 2.43am and i figured i should drop in before i head off to bed.

news flash!
Angel was shortlisted for an interview over at Game Flier (for some reason it doesn't load in firefox properly). The people who brought Ragnarok Online to Malaysia which now supports English and Bahasa Malaysia. Her interview is in the morning at 10am over at their HQ in UEP Subang Jaya. Wishing her LUCK although i'm going with her. hehe. Really happy for her and i really do hope she lands the job. I love Game Flier's motto for the job: "Play while you work, play while you play". Now who wouldn't want to work at a place like this and get to play the game the whole day! The working hours are stiff though.

Morning Shift: 8.30an to 5.30pm
Afternoon Shift: 1.00pm to 10.00pm

With working hours like that i will never get to spend any time with Angel. Haha! But i really do hope she get's the second call back. She's been looking for a job like this for some time now and she got the call asking her to come for the interview the day after she applied.

Have you guys heard of MMORPGs? I know i haven't until earlier when i helped Angel prepare for her interview and googled it. It stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games. If you're saying, yeah i know what that means... i've been playing CS and Unreal Tournament long enough to know it. WRONG! Even CS and Unreal doesn't even come close to MMORPGs due to the limitation of players per server. Imagine playing a game where there are literally thousands of people connected and playing at the same time. Imagine playing CS with this many people. Each round would never end! Even Ammo purchased wouldn't be enough to kill everyone. Would be cool for Unreal but i would be bored silly. Never the less cool.

Oh was browsing friendster last week over at a friends profile. Then i saw this dude's name which was so familiar that i thought i'd check it out. Funny thing was the dude that i didn't quite recognise the user pic so kinda just left it and never investigated further. A day later i get a message from him and guess what it was the right person after all. Quote "Andrew Jee! I remember you... saw u peeking at my profile". My response to the message was... "Damn i forgot to turn off the anonymous setting." hahaha... this guy was a senior of mine back in St. Andrew's but we were never really close nor do i remember who introduced us but he was always there with the gang (us councilors). But yeah thru him i managed to find the ex SAS seniors that i know. Even my cousin Sern Hung was on friendster. Honestly i forgot even existed! Shhh don't tell him that. Ahh the sweet memories of SAS came rushing back in.

Can't remember if i mentioned that lycos mail has been a bitch for me to load and get into the past couple of weeks. Its working fine now but sooner or later its going to act up again. Contact them and they were not aware of such problem and their solution was to clear my browser cache and try again. I knew they were going to say that yet i wrote in asking them. So yeah when i finally got in Monday morning, i received a forward mail from a friend of mine and the mail was the usual about friendship then one of the pictures caught my attention.

I suppose the chinese characters means exactly what the english words. I can't read chinese but understand it. Banana would be the correct term. Yellow skin on the outside like a chinese but white on the inside like an ang mo (european). What caught my attention was the butterfly and its contrast of colours to the black background. Going to edit the pic later and remove the words and number from it.

Speaking of forwards here's some thing interesting...

Count every " F" in the following text:


Highlight between the arrows
-> You've probably counted 3 rite? WRONG!! Read again there is actually 6. Reason being that our brain does not process OF. Don't ask me why. Yeah don't go kid urself and say you did count 6. I asked a few people in the house and they all counted 3. Some might count 4 but that is very rare. <-

If you were to read it for the third time or again later it won't work anymore as your brain has already registered that there is 6 F's as the answer. Well its been an hour since i start this post. I reckon its time to head off to bed. Sorry don't have any interesting links and stuff tonite... umm morning. Was out the whole day. Woke up -> breakfast -> Summit -> Dinner -> Movie (9pm) came home 11.45pm. Like i said i didn't touch a single code today. have to make up for it in the morning.

Ps. Dragon Squad is worth the watch. Although some scenes were a bit silly but its a awesome movie. Waiting to book tickets for Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. I've read all the books including the latest one. Last two were E-books that i freeloaded from the internet. Going to get the original Paper Backs soon. Planning to order them from Amazon.

Dragon Squad
1. Official Website
2. Sypnosis 1 2
3. Trailer
4. Review by Sina English

Current Project Status:
Roman Rock 95%
Tesco Smart Trolley 80%
Online car parts system 80%

Currently listening to:
umm none cos everyone in the room is asleep

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Time Out!

Was reading thru Kah Soon's blog last night and came across one of his post for this dude that does street magic. Japanese-American magician, 'Cyril Takayama' does really out of this world magic. You might have seen some of his clips posted on various video forums, chats, Yeah you guys should really check out all these places during your free time. The things people find on the internet are just hillarious and entertaining. Of course at other people's expense. I was lucky to find a couple of his clips on the internet. Working to try to get more so if you have some of his magic trick clips mail me the links over to andrewjee81[at]gmail[dot]com.

When i was googling (googling... sounds obscene) i found this website called Drunken Cat "College Life. College Fun". Its a self run blog similar to Kah Soon's where you can sit back, hang out and read thru his posts and also watch/view/read his collection of weird and interesting items off the internet. Highly recommended if you have a fast connection if you want to watch the clips.

Oh came across this girl called
Lian Ying Zhang who took part in the China Pop Idol. Her voice...Her voice is simply just amazing. I found video clips of her singing over at Drunken Cat and this personal blog of Alec Tang.

China Pop Idol ~ Lian Ying Zhang:
1. Loving you (can't remember the title of the song so correct me if wrong)
2. Don't cry for me argentina

Cyril's Magic:
1. Water Regeneration
2. Shadow Magic
3. Coin and Salt shaker
4. Playing Card thru glass underwater
5. Disappearing Act (into a briefcase)
6. Hungry Anyone? (Hamburger Trick)
7. Street Magic as old man

Since we're on the topic of magic here is a card trick for ya
1. Card Trick

Interesting clips i came across when browsing Drunken Cat:
1. Skills of a Bartender Girl
2. Hip Hop Yoda
3. Hot Korean Girl (no idea what its for)
4. How to pick a laptop lock

Current Project status:
Roman Rock @ 95%
Tesco Smart Trolley @ 80%

Currently Listening to:
李玖哲 - 洗牌 (over and over and over)

More to come later tonite!

Cheers... peace out!

Friday, November 11, 2005

thinking games....

angel came across a lot of interesting games posted on her multiply blog area and we were just having a blast playing a couple of the games there. Then she came across this game called Submachine : Extended Version from the original Submachine. Creator of this game Mateusz J. Skutnik and he sure got me and angel blown away. It was not as easy as it looked. If you've played Crimson and Veridian's Room you would appreciate this one as well. Its not as creepy as it looks but definately a challenge for the mind. Just right after i completed it i googled the game and yeah there are walk thrus for this game. Will post those later towards the end of the post. When googling i came across an interesting game over at Mofuya called 'Swan's Room'. Man this room was not easy and i had to search for a walk thru to get me thru. The part where you have to defuse a bomb, it took me 3 tries to get it right. Yeah first time i've seen a bomb in these games.

Another one that Angel found is by Maggie over at the Maggie Market. This talented lady from Hong Kong came out with original and superb games to pass time. Took an hour off to play some of the games and its addictive. Once you get into it and post your own scores you just wonder how on earth other people managed to get a higher one on the simplest of games. Trust me i was working hard trying to get my name on the list. Angel managed to do it on the 'Kill Time In Office' game but she clicked too fast and submitted her name as Undefined. She's currently 3rd i think.

Here's another interesting flash that i came across over at that is constantly updated but this local dude. Head over to Addictive Games and what you find there will blow you away. This is where i found the walk thru for Submachine Ex Version and Swan's Room. When you're done checking out the Addictive Games category head over to the main blog itself and you will laugh and find yourself spending hours just browsing thru this dude's blog. He collects a lot of interesting items from all over the internet and posts them there. One particular post i came across on his blog was 'The House' and the bloody flash video scared the living shit out of me. Just the intro itself before you enter the house it was scary enough to not want to go on. I dare you to watch it in the wee hours of the morning with the lights off and just wearing headsets. Kah Soon's haunted category is a must read.

Interesting ghost stories from
1. Genting True Story: The Old Man
2. Saw Ghost at Genting on Recharge Zouk Fest 2005
3. Another Genting True Ghost Story
A haunted marriage

How true is each occurances is not sure but its really up to you to believe what you read. There are many more stories related to Genting and i've heard a few myself especially one from the apartments half way up to Genting.

The Rooms:
Submachine : Extended Version (Walk Thru)
2. Swan's Room (Walk Thru)
3. Quaint Room (Walk Thru 1
further down the comments 2)
4. Crimson Room (Walk Thru)
5. Veridian's Room (Walk Thru)
6. Dona's Room by
Naoki Nakashima (Walk thru 1 2)

Note: Dona's Room is a tough one to solve. As per date and what i've read on forums and sites only a handful *those that can read japanese* has solved the room.

Maggie Market:
1. Kill time in the office
2. Facial House
3. Dai Pai Dong
4. HK Cafe
5. Mag's Bakery
6. Shoot me baby (a little boring)
7. Sushi

The Scary Shit (Not games):
1. The House
2. Special Defects

Interesting flash:
1. Tour of The Simpson's home (Really interesting!)

That's it for now. As i come across more games or interesting flash stuff i will post them here. Will create a post just for all the interesting flash and Room games that i find on the internet. This post took 5hrs to complete. A couple of hours playing the games while writing then an hour plus to pop out with angel for a quick evening tea over at Bee's Cake House then home for dinner. Determined to complete Swan's room tonite. Hope you've enjoyed this post!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

officially unemployed and bored

not too long ago we completed our honours degree and since then i've been bumming around working on robot projects, gift boxes and programming projects. i do miss the times when i was still travelling each day to college to be educated (yeah right!) and it was those times that i hated most and wished college would end. now the thought of actually going out there and working lurks at the back of my mind. already some of my classmates have started working. what am i going to do with myself? that is the question i ask myself every morning when i wake up. as much as i would like to get a job there is this thought that keeps me posted in reality. am i ready? did the RM19k /year education pay off? did i benefit anything? am i ready? i even asked a couple of my friends who were just recent grads what it was like to start work for them. then i have a friend in singapore whom after graduated started working for the arm's forces. each time i ask her wat she actually does she would reply "sorry drew that's classified". how cool is that to be able to use those exact words that we always hear in the movies.

i seem to be lost for words tonite. even though college is out i find myself still worrying. results aren't out yet and the moderation board is this week with a bigger team of UK experts this time around. you know what i am afraid of most right now... not being able to see angel as often as i want to. yeah we live in the same state let alone in the same country. i am worried for angel as well. a few days back we were browsing (is there a .my at the end?) and she was telling me that she didn't want to start a job that was related to IT or computing. she didn't want to only because she felt that she isn't that good in the field. she actually is just that she has not had the chance to shine yet. some times i feel like a huge jerk for pushing her to try. i wished i could do more for her but i can't be there all the time even though i want to. i want her to be independant. come to think of it right... *20 minutes to be exact!* this is the exact same feeling that i had when my brother first came over to KL to stay with me and study over here. My bro has always been the manja one in the family as he's the youngest and being the big bro and him like the best friend i never had it really worried me when he first went off to college on his own without me to show him the way to college. that was back when i rented a room in pj. every day when he came home late or at least before i did i would worry. what i was more afraid of was people making fun of him. maybe its brotherly love that i was protective of him. i guess for angel its almost similar. as much as i want her to be independant i am afraid that people will bully her as she is rather quiet at time and scared of facing people some times. we were having lunch one day after one of our presentations and we ran a flat. after it was changed i asked her what she would have done if i was not there and she had to do it herself, her reply was in a cute manner "i would cry! but i don't have to worry, i always have you by my side to look after me" Angel if you're reading this... ahem forgive me for twisting the story a little. hehe.. sounds nicer this way you know :)

haiz.. oh was reading this blog called precious illusion and the author is from thailand i presume *sue me i've not checked her profile* and on one of her posts she posted a link to this mp3 called Noo Goo Do by J. korean song and she is indeed right it is a very nice song and i've not stopped repeating the song since. have to find a translation of the song to find out what it means.

Friday, September 30, 2005

road trip!

angel's parents invited me to go on a road trip down to JB tuesday evening... it was a last minute thing as uncle was going down on a business trip and auntie wanted to go as well, so angel and i being the only ones at home who were FREE of every thing went as well. IT WAS FUN!! unfortunately we didn't have the camera *its now in china wif angel's elder sis* so there was no pics taken but it was FUN. well sorry if you don't share my interest but that was my first time driving down to JB and i had fun even though we were in the car for 3 1/2 hours. my ass litterally fell asleep. not used to sitting in a car for that long and as a passenger too! hehe. angel and i slept most of the way up and entertained ourselves on the way back. must plan another road trip down again and this time for a longer time so can explore the place. more on the road trip later on... tired and lazy to type.

oh our friend over at Princess Jasmine Corner is back from their trip to melb. no fair i wan go also JAS!!! no fair!! haha.. i miss those places you went. got take the pictures of federation square for me??

Sunday, September 25, 2005

QUOTE: "This behavior is by design"

now my pc crashed not too long ago about a week ago just before the first exam on monday 19th and everytime i booted up it gave me an error:


now i thought i had lost every thing on my drive but that wasn't the case. it had some thing to do with my boot.ini file being messed up *i just wonder how* and when i went online to check up on this error on the microsoft help website it gave a whole lot of things to do that might repair or fix the problem. what i loved best on that particular page under status section: "This behaviour is by design". thats what it says on the help website. click the link if you dun believe me. THIS BEHAVIOR IS BY DESIGN!! what does that mean? did they intentionally keep a small little bug on the os and when the time is critical mess up the boot file then show you the blue screen with that error when u boot or upgrade. as much as i like using windows this is the weirdest thing to do for an os.

Friday, September 23, 2005

only because....

was studying for my last exam paper earlier on for business process re-engineering (BPR), i came across the introduction to the stupid subject and quote "70% of the time BPR fails". now that really got me going and the first question to mind was "THEN WHY THE HECK ARE WE STUDYING IT?" Got everything read but nothing in my head as usual then later today at 2.30pm i would be crapping my heart out for the exam. Speaking of exams... man yesterdays DSAP paper was freaking crazy!! how anyone can pass that subject i have no idea. GOOD LUCK TO ALL FROM GF04B1COM/CIT/CMT.

a couple of days back angel's dad said that he saw a rat run into the living room. at first i thought maybe he had mistaken it for something else but true enough just yesterday morning 1.30am *mind you dsap exam was at 9.30am that same morning* angel's sister said that she saw the rat just outside the room near the toilet. not that they were freaked out.. they were rather... wats the word... Fascinated! but eventually they did shut all the room doors tight. then around 1.45... 2am the sibling went to use the toilet and guess wat she saw swimming in the toilet bowl? the mouse... or rather mice. it was a little mice swimming in the toilet bowl. my question was where was it before it fell in the bowl? did it like do a high dive off from the window into the bowl? so there it was and the whole time i couldn't help wondering if it was going to survive and what the heck do we do now. yea i took pity on the poor thing, it must have been like a few weeks old as it was just so little and struggling to get out of the water. the question was "how do we get it out?" first answer was to flush the bowl and it gets out when it reaches the septic tank. then a whole set of things came out.. a tin can to scoop it out... a platic container... then i thought of using a plastic bag, let it climb in then bring it outside. amazingly when i lowered the plastic the mice instinctively *as if it knew it was being rescued* grabbed on and climbed into the plastic. now it being so small didn't even bother to struggle while in the bag. took it outside, walked a couple of blocks up the road and let it out. at first i thought it was dead in the bag but just as i lowered the bag onto the floor it crept out and took its own sweet time to run to a nearby bush. here's a picture that i took of the little guy in the bowl...

5566 (19/09/05)

For those of you who knows 5566 (link 1 and 2)or has ever heard of them.. guess what... i took angel to their autograph session and album launch on the 19th at Klang Parade. Unfortunately they were a man short as he was busy with another project. if not mistaken he's is involved in another drama or movie. can't remember which. pictures came out a little dark as the lighting was just really bad that night. they had this yellow spot light on the stage and every picture we took came out dark because of it. there were a few good ones on another setting on the camera *i love sony cybershot camera's!* but its a little blur with them moving around so much. By the way their new album is fantastic. try get their new singlefrom the album and the MV.

removed the video. got too annoying after a while.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

this point of time

well exam is in the later part of the day and here i am posting on the blog. can't really do much now. a little worried about this particular exam considering that the lecturer for this subject has been slack through out the semester and reluctant to give proper tips. when i do actually start studying for this subject i question a lot of things like how its going to be on the exam. the problem is i've never studied for one of the exams by this lecturer. that being he was that predictable then and now he's being a bitch only because there has been a lot of complaints from students about his teaching methods or should i say HIM.

was just looking through the pictures on angels comp and found a pic that she took of me during our overnight last minute project completion before submission stage. i literally set up my pc on the floor with the monitor sitting on top of my toolbox that i carried around when i was building my robot. here's the picture:

i didn't even know my picture was being taken. had another picture where i was frustrated with this bit of code and was thinking with the keyboard to my head. can't seem to find it now but when i do its coming up here. it looked funny, to me at least only because i've never seen the pictures and wondered what the heck i was doin then.

oh my parents came to visit over the weekend last week. short trip as they were on their way back from Shanghai, china where my dad was on business trip. check out the earlier posts where i was talking to my dad asking him about my robot stuff. anyways it was monday (19th) morning around 2plus that i realised how much i really missed having my parents around. especially my mum whom i've not seen since chinese new year then with my grandma's death back in april... i knew how much it affected my mum but she has chosen to move on with life which is a good thing. that night when they arrived from the airport i FLEW down 10 flights of stairs and jumped the last few steps to give my mum a hug. but monday morning when i wrote in my journal i was in tears. its been a long time since anyone has stayed with me at the apartment and they were only here for a short while. spent the whole day of sunday shopping with them in the city and the whole time i had flash backs of when i was back in brunei shopping with them. the times which i took for grantted, the times which i now regret not cherishing. i only wished angel was there with us then. oh she finally met my parents formally monday morning when we went out for breakfast. surprisingly angel was a little more calm then i was when i first met her parents. but i miss them and held back tears when i waved them goodbye as the taxi was leaving. only to only crack back at the apartment when angel asked me if i was ok and why i was staring into space in my room *she had read my journal by then* then i couldn't hold back and avoided eye contact with her. when she forced me i couldn't take it and cried. *yeah grown men do cry...*

bear in mind that i had an exam that same monday afternoon at 2.30pm which i never really studied. even angel tried to share her answers with me during the exam but thanks to her small writing i couldn't make out a single word on her answer script. oh that reminds me.. the bitch who was new to apiit... made havoc for us in the exam hall with her 1hr, "you have 40mins left, if you want to leave.. blah blah blah...", "you have 10mins", "please ensure that you write down all details on the answer sheet as we will not wait for u when collecting your scripts". to think that she actually read out the exam hall rules before reading time, who are we? first time sitting for exams? best yet was after she asked us to switch off our phones and not put it on silent mode, this is to ensure that we do not bother our fellow classmates. then 30mins into the exam she starts walking around then stopping suddenly to do spot checks to see if we were cheating. it wasn't the phones bothering us.. it was HER! i swear if she is there for our exam later on i will scream.

oh here is a nice picture of angel and i at Mines taken by someone who thought she did a great job taking the picture. cheers! good night... it took me 1hr to write this. was busy checking out MELabs Forum and a couple of other blogs i came across.

nice pic aint it if you can see us....

Monday, September 12, 2005


wow i really owe my dad a whole lot. he stayed up till now to just help me draw the circuit properly so i can connect it without shorting anything else on my breadboard. my only prayer now is that it works. the funny thing was that he wanted to draw it on the pic of the board i took which one fine but that took almost an hour then i finally asked him what he was doin and he said drawing the whole circuit. 5 mins later he tells me he will do on paper instead, snap a pic of it then send to me, 5mins after that he tells me its done and sends me the file but it aint a paper drawing. he actually drew it on the board. asked him how come and his reply was "drawing on paper is hard without the bread board layout" hahaha... thanks dad!! so now the picture looks like this. lol! want to see mine originally? when i asked him for help this was the picture i drew below which doesn't look anything like my dad's. haha. dun play play 5 year old drawing you know. haha. i bet you even a 5yr old could draw it better. anyways so here i am updating this while my dad leaves his msn on over there in china while i continue to type and think to myself "you idiot! you have the drawing what are you doin still posting!". its amazing what my brain tells me and what i don't do. let me get the breadboard circuit done up and continue on again. Ok here is the end product of the schematic following my dad's. does it look so much nicer than mine? but i am still worried about this project. its now officially 3.45am and nothing works as yet except for my brain who isn't processing at the momment. time to call it a night first the wake up early to do this. good night all.. pray for me...

going to be a long long night

this is probably the strangest thing that i've done so far. my parents are now in china where my dad is on a business trip while my mum is on a much needed holiday after my grandma's death. then here i am in malaysia talking to my dad (as i write this) on msn while he goes over my robot wiring schematics. the fact that i nearly burnt one of the crystals for the microchip which i recently found out costs a bloody RM3 a piece. i got a shock when i first heard it. actually one of them said it was RM1.50 then the other guy say "your head ah! its RM3!" so here i am talking to my dad, sending back and forth pictures of schematics and pictures of the breadboards that i connected the components to and even drew on photoshop my representation of the schematic was in my head on the breadboard. hillarious i tell you. wait here is a picture of the one i showed to my dad how the breadboard was linked internally. hehehe like i said this is the weirdest thing i've done by far. even angel said kelian my dad.. on business trip yet still have to help me do this. lol thanks dad!

wat a time for the robot to not work suddenly. if you are all wondering i am working on a robot project for my final year project. still can't figure out why sanath approved it when he said it was a risk and won't get me a pass. yet he approved my project to only tell me that i would fail as a result of selecting this topic. this was during the mid point and that was the first thing he told me when i sat down. I was like thinking in hyper drive "IF THAT IS THE CASE THEN WHY ON EARTH DID YOU APPROVE MY PSF!!" Even my new supervisor didn't understand why sanath approved it. david tan, my new supervisor, is another story at hand. last minute admin changes our supervisor because mdm rohaniah is taking maternity leave which is fine but why wait till 2weeks before submission to change supervisors. so how do the new ones help us during the presentation? of which probably won't be much of a help anyways since sanath will shoot like crazy. even kaval didn't have a chance to finish his slides without being interupted by him. which worries me as i know he will ask me once again the computing aspects of the project. until today i still do not know what the *&^&*# that means. even he can't explain it to me which makes me wonder if i had actually done a website then i automatically meet the COMPUTING ASPECTS of the project. like how? just because i am doin a website?

anyways... dad is just finishing up my diagrams for me then he's off to bed. he has a meeting at 8.30am tomolo which i told him i would be up at 7 to bother him with last minute things. hehehe. i love ya dad!

well i have to get back to working again. stil have to prepare slides which i haven't and read through again my documentation which i haven't as well. maybe will come back on to post again. nites :) oh thanks angel! i love you!!

Sunday, September 11, 2005

if only we could...

the past month especially the last couple of weeks has been a crazy one... MY GOODNESS ITS WORSE THAN CRAZY!!!! some times i just wonder why i ended up in APIIT... but if not for it i wouldn't have met angel.... hehehe.... but as of late.. we've been pilled with projects... first the final year project.. then bpr... then pmmt... then dwa... then dsap... in that few days of that week was NUTS! one after another... now that all the projects are over... we are in the suspense of having to wait for our presentation schedules... its like waiting to strike the lottery i tell you and true enough mine comes... this coming monday at 4pm... if only u can see wat i look like right now... its not like in the picture you see now...

but i am worried... there is so much i have not prepared and i am afraid that i might mess it up... which i know i would eventually knowing that stupid sanath will screw me 100% in the presentations... i have no idea what the hell is his problem especially since he was the one who approved the project... i just can't wait to get this over wif... work on angel's system then prepare for the exams... EXAMS! i just wonder how to study for it also... starts 19 then 21 straight to 23... one after another... i have no idea why they are rushing our intake.

my sweet angel is sleeping every so peacefully now.. hugging the pink hippo i bought her for valentines day. why am i up? can't really sleep... i have so much that i want to get off my chest but it's not working.. i just can't get myself to just write it all out... like how i used to back then in all those notebooks. i do miss writing a lot. it used to help me get over things and ask questions to myself why certain things happen the way they do.

listening to Class 95 FM online from singapore... man a lot of classic songs which i've not heard for a long time now. tze ting.. if you ever read this blog HI :) not even sure if you still do or not. how have u been? its crazy over here for me... oh sorry for all the late nite sms'es to ya... it was really urgent and it still is. can't wait to grad and get out of studying soon. i feel like a dog on a leash. haha.. sorry i couldn't resist... that's ricky.. angel's dog... this dog is seriously restless and loves to play.. unfortunately i am afraid of him and i think he can sense it some times... but he shook my hand a couple days ago... haha that was scary. i miss singapore. should go back there soon with angel at the end of the year before heading back to brunei. then can meet ya ting ting! hehehe....

I HATE APIIT! if only i took the time to update the other blog i made to #$#%# about apiit... oh angel just flinched... i miss my quality times... i miss myself... i miss being care free... i miss being young... i miss angel... i miss my sleep...

some one once said.. it will be all worth it... yeah rite... if i ever find who this some one is i will beat the living crap out of them. i know this post isn't constructive but really my mind is a blank. before i started to write this one i had so much i want to blurt and write.. then nothing.. nothing at all came out from my mind to fingers... maybe tomolo one more post before i head home...

good nite

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


今天的我, 心情不大好 。。。

还记得吗, 以前上小学时,我们都必定会写作文,其中有一题叫做 ’倒霉的一天’。告诉你哦,我今天,就是要写这一篇。。。

今 天七早八早 , 去到学校, 没有 presentation 还不要紧。到了午餐时间,我的小可爱轮胎,竟然胞胎了。。。真是 “黑仔” 哪 。 没关系,轮胎弄好了之后,我就回家啦,顺便去轮胎店维修一下。哦,果然,轮胎有个小洞洞哎(你懂吗。。在这两个月里,我去了那车厂好十几次了),之后,也 顺便弄下 alignment,不用说, 又破费了。上次修理车已花了贰佰马币,可怜的我呀,没钱了哎!!!

Fine… 回到家,吃完了饭,过几小时之后,三姐回来了;问我待会儿去不去阿姨的 farewell,我说 OK 咯。怎知,当二姐回来时,她却和三姐说不让我去,要我做功课。然后,她们俩就这样走了。。也不通知声。还要我自己去问三姐,她还很勉强的说可以。直到我问 她:“你们是不是不想我去?” 她才说是二姐不想我去。

我很生气,也很伤心,感觉好像他们在排斥我似的。我觉得他们好像在利用我;没伴时 就找我,有伴时就把我踢开。我真的很讨厌那样的人。。。我不懂为何我在这 写日记。照理说,我是不应该在这透露我家人的不好,可是我就是忍不住。我甚至想告诉全部人,我很讨厌这两个人。。。虚伪。。虚伪。。。这根本就是虚伪 嘛。。。





state of mind

these few weeks especially in the last couple of nights where sleep is non existent and if it did its only a nights wink. nite after nite i would be staring at the screen doing codes which should be doin what i want it to do but it isn't behaving itself. wat language is that... DOT NET. it ain't too bad when you get the hang of it... i rather quite like it now but its still not as easy to work wif on asp.

i need a prayer.... a prayer of faith and strength... have i reli lost the faith?

it seems like we never update this blog anymore... its a excuse when we say we're too busy with work to even take 5mins of our time to just update here... but indeed FYP has taken its toll on everyone. with the new hope of a 1wk extension one would expect it to make us jump for joy... instead i'm already dreading this. working till late at night cos i'm reli worried about my little angel so helping her all i can and teaching her a language that is totally new to me as well. but i will push one... GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH.

To Do List:
1. Finish Coding
2. Finish building my robot
3. Finish documentation
4. Finish writing this blog
5. Shoot project manager
6. Find God again
7. Find myself again
8. Plan Multicultural Night
9. Shoot myself
10. Shoot myself

in a couple of days time this is exactly what i would look like elmo monster.. my childhood monster from sesame street... i took a picture of myself last night and the eye bags under my eyes... i'm ready to go for a holiday with those packed ones. hahaha....

i am tired...

i am weak...

i am insane...

was reading a couple of blogs on friendster.... blogs of close friends... i was suprised to see my name mentioned on a particular one by shan. it was a blog of faith and strength... for friends. strength... tat is something that i reli need now...

well.... good nite world and to who ever reads this... would love to blog a bit more but my eyes are failing me and the left side of my brain is on protest.... headache...


Friday, July 22, 2005


Wow ... it's been quite a while since i last blog here ... Somehow i already forgot i have a blog here ... haha ... Was doing a bit work earlier on ... boring ... n suddenly thought of blogging in ...

Actually i have nothing to type now ... my mind is empty ... I'm thinking ... What kind of person i am actually? Or how other people think about me? Erm ... I think i'm a person, that will not be myself all the times. I don't mean that I'm pretending but I do have a principle of "attitude of being a friend to friends that i should have" all these while, which is I will treat my friend differently in attitude, style and so on according to their style. I don't really know what i mean by this, but i think everyone has his/her own style in their life. Some of them are serious, some of them are crazee (siao siao), some of them are "small gas", some of them are kind, helpful, playful, sporting and the list goes on.

When I mix with those who are serious, i have to control myself from being playful and sarcastic. When i mix with those who are totally insane, i can blurt out what eva i like. When i mix with those who are "small gas", i shall not make fun of them anytime ... and so on.

What i mean here is ... I'm actually a person that really hate arguement or quarel but i do like to make fun with people or insult them for fun or talk something "nonsense" ... But not everyone will have the "style" (gaya style ... muahahah) like tat ... If I'm who i am all the time, I think i will have no friend with me ... N because i hate quarel, i will even be more careful on what i talk n chat to my friends ard me ... careful as in what i should talk and when should i keep quiet. Thus i have to understand my friends well ... i mean really understand ... know what they like, what they dislike, their interests, their STYLE !!!

Mayb, there will be people who think that i'm fake ... as in when i'm with him/her, im not like that but when i'm with soemone else, i will be like that. Like what i said ... the way i treat my friends has to depend on their STYLE but ofcoz ... i treat them sincerely ... I did gossiping about friends sometimes, but WHO DOESN'T GOSSIP BOUT UR FRIEND? I mean ... mayb im not suppose to say gossip but TALK BOUT THEM, THEIR STYLE ... right? Sometimes we do get furstrated or angry on what our friends do to us ... n there we will start "so called as gossip" ... But still, we treat them well on the next time we meet them ... Right??? haha .... *conflict*

Friends ... are forever to me ... I hope my friends ard me will keep me company forever ... especially those frens that i really appreciated and those frens that really appreciated me ...

Until now, i'm still not so understand on what have i typed ... i feel blur ... haha ... but ... em hem ... nothin ... forget bout it ... got to go back to work ...



Monday, May 09, 2005

happy birthday to angel

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my dearest angel.... today is your birthday oh! happy birthday to you... today i get to spend the midnite with you and i hope that the rest of the day you would be happy. i love you so much. Will do as much as i can to make today extra special for you!

Happy birthday to you....
Happy birthday to you....
Happy birthday dear angel
Happy birthday to you....

Selamat hari jadi...
Selamat hari jadi...
Selamat hari angel....
Selamat hari jadi...


umm the last song they always sing one i dun know... that is the best i can do especially the chinese one for you :) see boy boy learn to get it rite.. haha... 生日快乐 天使 , 希望你梦想成真!

Friday, April 29, 2005

oh...ouch ouch

erm...erm.... juz back from dental clinic... guess wat i did??? heheh....braces...erm.... it's not pain but as wat mr jee's sore... n my teeth is super tired rite now... it's like kena ikat n standin there whole day... Oops...not whole day... it's 2 whole years... MAN!!!! how can i tahan??? but i hav to... i will miss lots of nice foods... my mr KFC... my mcDonald... My pizza.... My Kim Gary... My Mamak... My chewing Gum... OH no... all my favourites!!!! Now PORRIDGE stalls will welcome me the most.... haihz.... porridge... u know... i hate mr porridge so mch !!!!!!! so much!!! so much!1!!
Ouch ouch~~~...... SORE SORE!!! from today onwards...i can't talk much, can't eat much, can't smile much...haha...sooo damn ugly... haha........but it's a very good time for me to KEEP FIT~~!!!! muahahahahahaha

Friday, April 08, 2005

The letter....


阿公, 您近来如何 ?希望一切都还好 。 很抱歉, 收到外婆去世的噩讯后 , 我没办法赶回古晋, 送她最后一程 。 当我获知这个噩讯时 , 我真的不敢相信 , 那是真的 。 可是在真实生活中 , 我们亲爱的阿嬷 , 确实是离开我们了 。

我哭得满眼眶都是泪 , 哭得已经不能再哭了 , 但这已经是一个无法改变的事实 , 我们始终都要面对这心酸又残忍的一刻 。外婆的离开 , 可能对我们大家来说 , 都感到很伤心 , 但是对外婆来说 , 却是一种解脱 , 她永远都不必再忍受那些令人毛骨悚燃的痛 , 可以安心的到另一个世界寻找快乐 了。 但是 , 我相信 , 阿嬷更想要看到的 , 是她的亲人 , 也就是她的丈夫 , 儿女们 , 孙子们 , 都能够继续开开心心的 , 过着每一天 。

阿公 , 我在这想献上我的祝福给您 , 给在古晋的你们 , 祝你们身体健康 , 永远幸福 。 我知道妈妈他们都好伤心 , 所谓 ‘子欲养而亲不在 ’ , 毕竟失去自己的母亲 , 是比失去什么都更伤感的 。 我相信他们 从今以后会更加珍惜您 。

阿公 , 您一定要答应我 , 无论什么事情都好 , 您都不可以选择放弃 ,因为我们大家都希望您可以过的很幸福 。 我答应您 , 当我有假期时 , 我一定会回去探望您 , 但您也要答应我 , 您要过得很好噢 !

最后 , 想告诉外婆 , 她永远都会在我们心中 , 永远 , 永远 。。。



安德鲁 (Andrew @ Andu)上

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Death... Criess... Tears... Let go? Suffer?

Death... It's such a scary word to me. It brings sadness n tears to people... but who wants to die? No one in this world will choose to die except he/she is in pain (physically or mentally).

I'm so sad today. After i came back from outside, my bb told me tat his grandma passed away. Erm... some people mite not believe it as today is APRIL FOOL... but to me... i believe it. Who will actually play with the word "death"???

He cried. I was just beside him but i did not comfort him... not even a word... I have a thousand words in my mind but i couldn't speak out anything except to give him a big hug. I felt myself very useless. I'm not well in express my feeling all these while n it went the same also today - tonight.


I know u are very sad... but we know that dead ppl cannot wake up n stay alive again. I think your ah ma will not want to see her grand children or anyone cry. Think about it, If she still alive, tat means she has to struggle again and suffer in pain... She has been fighting for her life to see all of u during CNY... Maybe to let her go is the best way to let her extricates... although now she has gone but i believe tat she will always be in ur heart. I'm sorry for keeping quiet when u r reli down... but remember tat i will always be there for you when u r sad... n i hope u will be strong at tis moment... Ur grandma will seek for her happiness in another world... Don't worry too much k... Treat her well when she was alive is the most important one... i told u before rite? n i think you did it right??? hmmm... *HUGS*

Good Luck in ur coming exam (MLY) n the coming coming exams...


我不懂。。。 为什么上帝制造人, 却又要毁灭人。。。 为什么要有生死离别?

看着我身边的他在那边哭泣, 而我却一字也说不出口。平常的我, 不是很会安慰人的吗?怎么刚才却。。。我感到自己很无助。我很想帮忙他,和他一起分享这份悲哀,但我却不知该怎么办。除了让他投入我的怀抱,还是只能让他 投入我的怀抱。一手抱着他,一手抓住他的手。。。此时,我的嘴巴像是被针线缝着了。 我不懂,我该说些什么。。。我只想让他好好的大哭一场。希望他哭过以后会舒服些。。。

生老病死,本来就是很平常的事。 虽然如此,我们还是会忍不住的让眼泪流出来,哭的唏呖哗啦的。。。妈妈,是我们身边最亲最亲的人。 当他‘离开’我们时,我们心里就会酸酸的,眼眶就会泛泪,眼泪也会自然而然的流出来。。。死去的人离开我们,并不是我们想要的,也不是他们希望的,但却是 我们必须接受的,这是上帝给人们最残酷的现实。 所以,我们要学会珍惜身边的每一个人,每一时每一刻,打开您的胸膛,用一颗最真诚的心,去对待每一个你想珍惜的人。。不要直到失去了,才后悔当初没好好对 待他。。。不要直到失去了,才学会及领悟到 ── 什么叫作, ★珍惜★

Thursday, March 24, 2005

moo moo

angel angel... Its ok... tat what ur elmo is for rite :) got anything else u wan me to do? the funny thing is that i just read your post and tonite we have a project to be completed and my angel is on the bed ZzzZZzzz.... hehehe... so its quite true wat u say in your post.. hahaha.. but i will always do my very best and its my pleasure to look after you and get ya da best ;) check my previous post.. now has a picture! thanks to micyuki for the tip :)

very da short update for here.. nothing much to do.. suppose to be working on a project rite now but here i am writing this... hehehe... and my angel.. still sleeping... hehehe... maybe will post something proper here later...

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Thanx to u... BB

It's been quite a while since my last post in this blogger. Erm... wat can i say... life was busy before today where i can actually sit down here n type. Haha... perhaps im not the one who suppose to say busy... coz ELMO was the one who done almost every work n i was the one who "ganbatei" for him fer while then ZzZZzzzZzz... My works was juz milo'ing with him, sit beside him then tell him... "i cannot tahan d... i got to sleep"... hahaha..........

Reli want to thank him... hehe... Muacks muacks... for all the assignments, projects as well as DAVID TAO's showcase... I dunno how things will be if it was not him helping me ALL THESE WHILE.........hehehe........ THANX........ I reli enjoyed the showcase on last saturday... haha.. u can c tat rite??? shouted like "SIAO LANG".....

hehe... THANX THANX N THANX... if it weren't u who teman me to Pyramid to shop n shop n shop... i wouldnt hav get the 4 tickets... if it weren't u who drove me to MidValley, i wouldnt get 2 more extra tickets... hmmm.......... ARIGATOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo........

David Tao's Promo Tour

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took angel to catch david tao's promo tour last weekend saturday. it was a one off once in a blue moon chance and it was worth it!! the waiting.... the getting squished by other fans.... screaming... signing... the most important of all... angel had a good time and had a chance to meet her idol in person during the autograph session. that was the squished and pushed moment... sort of formed a force field around her while pushing and making our way to the side where they were letting those with the cd to go up on stage to get it autographed. my goodness some people especially oversized girls were really pushing and really squeeezing!! the heck out of me and angel. again it was worth it only that i was pulled aside by security when i finally got her to the stage. i didnt have a copy of the cd.. duh! but it was really a sight to see my angel's eyes light up and face glowing. you can tell she was tired but at the same time excited which kept her going. trying to get pictures uploaded to put here from that night. the best thing was that my mandarin has improved a lot. hehe.... all in all we enjoyed ourselves that nite... the music was good... angel was having a good time.... david was awesome... i'm tired.. angel's tired... can't wait for the concert... :)

news from myself... lets see... NOT ENOUGH SLEEP!!! almost hit a kancil and a truck earlier yesterday morning from angel's place to college. this is the first time that i can't cope with the lack of sleep. signs that i am aging and old. hehe.. which reminds me.. have to wake angel up now to get the keys from her dad's car. otherwise i will never be able to go home. hahaha....

Monday, March 14, 2005

one last cry....

its now 2am monday morning and i'm still up doing things on the internet.. unconstructive work that is. just checking out websites aimlessly and without a reason. have david tao playing singing one last cry (live version). dunno some how tonite this song catches me. why am i still up? should be sleeping rite now but i'm not. watching and looking after angel while she sleeps away incase she wakes up and needs something. will be sleeping soon i suppose. nothing much has changed since the last post, still have tat thought on my mind and at the same time just wondering wat it could have been if i had met and went after angel earlier. lots of if's in my head which is not too good. its patricia's and karen's birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! if you ever come to know of this blog tat is ;) hehehe.

anyways i think i shall wrap up. my download is complete and the song just finished. with that i shall leave u with the song... one last cry lyrics...

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I�ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I�m down to my last cry


I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I�ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....

I�m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I�ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I�m down
I guess I�m down
I guess I�m down...
To my last cry...

Sunday, March 13, 2005

blue... just feeling reli blue

i know i've said this in all my blogs that i've not been posting and that is true... work has really gotten all of us at GF04B1 really stressed out.. thanks to our nice professional apiit.. lol.. but really none of us have had decent hours of sleep... recent one was aoom and for that my nick on msn changed to AOOM IS A BIACH!! to AOOM SUCKS (at the final hours) and today back to my very very old gaming nick... haiz... now only have one more to go then its the finals.... i want to die already. i just noticed that i use a lot of dots dots dots in my sentences.... << there i go again! hahaha.

but seriously.. as my baby angel sleeps peacefully *on the bed next to the computer* while i sit here on the computer talking to my sis while she works the grave yard shift back in brunei. i think to myself, i know i'm thinking of things but there isn't a specific or a particular thought. its just all jumbled up and that really makes me blue. recently i got news of my friends who graduated not too long ago have changed to a better job and a better pay. man that really scared me. i'm about to finish my college years and will i really survive out there working?? am i really ready? i was talking to angel about it in the car earlier on the way to the tailor's to get my pants, i was just telling her that after talking to my friend online about work it really got me thinking and it scared me cos not too long from now i would be graduating *hopefully* and soon after working. its not goin to be like group work and assignments where we do work with friends. its the real stuff. am i even prepared for it???????? are you prepared for it jas? micyuki?? this semester is about to end and a new one starting a month after our exams. time sure really flies when u are bogged down with work. litterally flying. i never thought of all this when i was in dip or in high dip. I Will Survive!!!

i find myself sometimes walking around looking lost. its the funniest sight ever if u ever catch me like tat. but i do roam the walk ways in college some times not knowing wat i'm thinking and its the only time that i wish i could go away. some where really far. then angel would touch my arm and ask, are you ok? i would smile and say... i'm alrite.... maybe its true that all pieces likes to dream. i'm a dreamer myself and have lots to achieve when i graduate. other times i just think about nothing or wat it would be like right about now in some country. your brain just turns off for a while then it goes into this thought phase (recharge phase i call it) where u don't do the walking or talkin. memories just float by and u try to remember everything.

i'm not making sense anymore. told u i was blue... a lot of things can't be said here. lots of things... :) for that i bid everyone good nite. i have to go look after my angel rite now... nites :)

-·=»‡«=·- §åtüRn -·=»‡«=·-

Thursday, February 10, 2005

how come cny like tat 1???

Today is 2nd day of CNY. SUppose, it is and should be a very happy day for me n for him but... something happened. Before he went back to his hometown, i already hav the sense tat his ex mite go n look for him... u knoe wat... i reli kena lottery 1st prize... my sense has neva been tat chun before in my life n recently my sense has become more n more chun!!!

She reli went n visit his grandama(kononnya grandma... i thikn she aredi knew tat he back for cny)... but mayb she reli went visit his grandma...who knows? I will not mention wat has happened today but it's a sad one n angry one tat caused lots of tears in heart n hates in between a mum n a child.

To Bebe,

I'm sorry for not telling u earlier n sorry tat im not able to be by ur side when things happened. I wish i can give u a big big HUGS rite now... It's 2nd day of cny... i dun 1 u to be sad... im sorry to tel u tat i dun 1 u 2 be fren wif her anymore because seriously i thikn tat the best way to avoid her from contacting u anymore is juz ignore her kao kao(meaning no more REPLY on sms nor mail nor calls)... actually from the start i reli did hope tat all of us can be fren(me u n her)... but tats impossible!!!..... last time i think im the only one who is not possible to be fren wif her... but now.....................i knoe im very selfish... but she's reli a nite mare for me... sorry for being so selfish... but wat i've expected was ALL RIGHT... n she reli is not so simple as wat ppl see... becareful k... i will keep my promise on wat i've promised but please bebe, becareful k... im 100% trust on u... but alwiz remember tat... NOT HER...

reli sad for wat has happened today... i hope there's no more hate n tears inside ur heart rite now n hope u alwiz remember tat... im the one who goin to spend my life wif u... u know them well n u know they mite say something tat mite hurt u...but please alwiz remmeber also tat"WAT PPL SAYS WHEN THEY R ANGRY R NOT COUNTED AS WAT THEY WANT TO TELL U IN HEART"... u r the one who know urself well... but no matter wat happen... i will alwiz support u...alwiz remember tat ok... miss u lots....

happy cny bebe!!!


Monday, January 31, 2005

why it became like that? frustrated!!!

I AM SAD!!! i'm too sad... i dunno how to describe my feelings rite now.

Have u gals ever been in a situation where u saw s"sumthing" which u not suppose to see n hav tat feeling that "He is my bf, i should trust him.. but if i dun read all these, i wouldnt know anythin tat he hides from me.. but he is my bf!!!... yeah...i trust him...but not her... but it's not rite to read his things wifout askin him!!!! but i want to know wat makes him so special tat the loves of tis gal to my bf has neva fade...oh yeah... i think i should read." n without second thought, u slowly take out wat u should or want to take n look at it.

1st line, 2nd line...goes on..."oh god....gosh....oh no... please la... ha? wah lau..." these are wat popped out in my mind... i threw the paper away... in the same time, i have the urge of tearing the paper... tears started to drop... non stoply... i couldn't stop it... i took a deep breathe... started to think... i dun care wat the hell she n him did last time... i juz cant believe tat... is tis my bf kah? He told me tat he neva propose to a gal before tat he will marry her... neva hav the thought before, that he will marry her ex'es... except for me... im the one who make him thinks tat... but wat the hell r all these sentences in front of me? "He lied to me? or he didnt know tat he did tel to other gal b4?"... tears still dropping... Perhaps, im the STUPID one!!! like those silly gal tat reli would believe wat a guy tel her when a guy look very very serious... perhaps... im one of them... i dunno... thinking bout it... yeah... mayb i myself.... angeline... yes... u r too stupid n too easy to believe ppl tat "talk sweet" to u... n too easy to fall... i mean fallen for him... tears STILL n STILL... dropping................................. :~(

straight away, i type a msg n sent it to him (only gals will know wat's my look rite now!!! it's reli an ugly face wif tears n anger!) ... n he replied wif answer which i dun reli wish to see... we argued... he said i not suppose to read wifout his permission... yeah yeah...ofcoz i know tis, but tis is not the point!!! im not argu'ng wif u bout tis ( tis refers to promise tat i made to him tat i wont react anythin after i read all those "papers")... i toldl him tat wat he said to me "before" MEAN NOTHING!!! I only wan u to be honest to me all the times... if one day ur guy/loved one tell u tat ( i wan to marry u, will u marry me? answer me... will u? seriously... will u?u know i neva tel other gal as wat i told u ->sumthin like only me tat he wans to be wif for the rest of his life, which he neva think like tat before to his ex'es) ... u knoe it's so much touching... im so proud... so proud tat im the only gal for u to think like tat or rather to say tat "no one will ever beat me in his heart before or now n then"... but the sentence infront of me juz pulled me down... wat the hell? does tat mean tat wat he promised n told me before all all FAKE 1? i dunno...... i dare not to keep his promise anymore in my heart... NO!!!

i know i didnt keep promise tat i wont think nonsense after i read all those things... tat's my fault. But gal is stilll a gal after all. I didn't think anything bout him n her.... but i ONLY think bout things between "U n ME"... do u get wat i mean? i dun care wat da heck u did before wif her.. but i hope u can 100% honest to me.. i mean if u want to tel me sumthin to make me happy, please!!!... i do want tat sumthin come from ur heart.. not juz few movements of ur lips... i dun need tat!!! i told u tat before already but i think you've forgot bout it...

i want!!! i want to learn... i want to learn how to control my heart... to love, to forget, to forgive, to say "i love u", to say "i miss u", to see things more openly, to be able to control my hand to get sumthin which im not suppose to get (like his journal, n his letters fr gals/ex'es... wat to do? GATAL man!!!)... to be happy, to be not sad... n the list just goes on... i hope everything will be fine... today, tomorrow... forever...

Sunday, January 30, 2005

thoughts.. nothing but lousy thoughts

-> have you ever gone through a time where there is just so much u can handle in your life then suddenly it doesn't seem all that important. but the whole night you would be so troubled with a particular thought in mind and it just gets u really sad and heavy hearted. that's exactly how i feel tonite. it all comes down to what you have and don't have especially as seen in the eyes of the parent authority. i don't even know if i make sense right now. like i said i just have so much on my mind right now that i don't really know where to start or even make heads of tails. if u could feel this heart of mine now... it really feels like it can sink a ship. in your chest it feels like something hurting and wanting to just jump out. chest pains that never seems to go away but comes back when you're sad or when your loved one is sad. that is the eternal link that i have with angel and if she is at all sad it hurts me to know that she is. a lot of times in the past that i've suffered for her and its because of love that i feel tis way. i know it sounds silly but that's how it is wif angel and i.

-> but tonite i got the worst kinda of news ever... its hardly new and its something that has been on my mind since i started dating angel. its more like a reality check... guy no car... guy kenot do anything... at least right now that is how i feel in the eyes of the parent authority. not that i think that its not fair for them to think that way... i myself think that its true... as sincere as it is and as part duty of being a gentleman is to be able to take the princess out on our own chariot and not one that belongs to the kingdom. she asked me if it was right of her to tell me this (especially since she halau me from the room) and yes its right of her... i mean if i never knew how her parents really felt about this it would seem that i am taking advantage of the situation. deep down in my heart i only wanted to be with angel... not that i wanted to use her things for my own benefit.. the times i threw tantrum was never out of selfishness but out of love. but thinking realisticly... me getting a car any time soon... is like me wishing the moon and the stars everynight... i never really told angel how i felt about this situation before... a lot of nights where i can't sleep... its because of this... or something related to this... i mean i don't even need to get the hint from her parents... i myself already know it as my own responsibility as the guy. but after finding out tonite... its like priority number one if i ever want to date angel properly...

-> i don't know... my mind is just so messed up right now... i don't really know who reads our blog... some one sure does... if u dun get wat i mean here.. then maybe its meant for reading that's all.... jas... i know u drop by our blog every now and then... has it ever happened to u guys before? i mean... well at least in some same situation where parents expects more than what we can really handle at the moment... BLANK... that's how my mind is at right now... its filled with thoughts but i don't know where to start thinking so its just a BLANK. you all have been there before... u sit there... prob reading or eating halfway.. then u just have so much on your mind but its a total blank... yet we are so bothered about it that we forget wat we're doing. i sit here now writing this right not from the mind but from the heart... cos the brain now is a blank... i do wish the very best for angel... but i'm afraid that my best doesn't come that fast... maybe its just me... unfortunate that money doesn't grow on trees.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

its good to be back!

-> its been a while now since i got back. well 3 days since i got back. lol... its good to be back! especially good to be able to hug my little angel again!! ya! in coll no typing this so have to keep it short.. so many ppl suddenly walking behing me while typing this.. SO MALU!!! hahaha...

Wednesday, January 05, 2005


erm... dunno y i hav tis feelin tat the world is going to end!!! Do u guys notice that many disasters happened in tis few years? well not tat many but scary things r happening everyday n it bcomes more serious from days to days... will it be end of world??? if it reli happens, what is your last wish??? what do u want 2 do??? who do u want to be wif???

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

an ordinary day....

-> it seems that everyone is back to school again and here i am still in brunei doing nothing when i should be back there keeping my angel company especially this thurs when she has her supervisor clinic. how i wish i was back in kl now. the past week or so away from angel has given me the time to reasses thoughts and what i have with angel and you know wat... meeting angel has been the best thing of my life. things are really going well for us and i really see it going some where. i really do. i know things are a little hard when i'm not around every now and then and i hope to change that.

-> oh ya angel thought me how to play minesweeper... she got so frustrated teaching me the game and insists that she has thought me once before. i don't remember but she said she did.. so she did ;) who's is to argue with that. lol... eventually i took the interest as well and started reading up on the net how to play the game.. was still blur but determined to learn the silly game. what seemed silly then now really interesting. if only she had explained earlier the 8boxes walk around thing then maybe i would have picked it up ages ago. lol... so now whenever we're online we would be playing it on msn and you know wat... I ALMOST WON! hehehe... of course a few nudges (have you guys tried msn7 yet? awesome stuff) to hint she wants to win... so a few accidental clicks here and there... hehehe...

-> i still remember how angel and i met... it was a beautiful day when i walked into the auditorium and there was this girl whom i have no idea who she was but she was smilling at me. naturally i smiled back and ever since that first smile she has captured my interest. attendance time i would try to catch her answering but always.. i mean always i missed it as i assumed she had a typical chinese name and would be maybe 50 some thing on the list. hehehe.. so ya it was a mission to find out and i did eventually. i remember one time before i knew her name i wrote the girl in red in front of me on my notebook to one of the guys and asked them if they knew her name. lol... then one day i got the courage to leave her a note and didn't even pass it to her personally. hahaha... i ran to the parking lot found her car and left it on the windsheild. hahaha... never expected her to actually message me the same day. since then we started talking and eventually dated and now almost 6mths in the making. boy does time pass by really fast. half a year already. thinking back now i am really glad that i invited her to join us at sunway for the mapcu games. even then i didn't expect her to show up then suddenly her name appeared on my mobile "Hello, Andrew... are you still in sunway?" Angel do you remember "STONED FACE". hehehe... i still can't believe it took me over a year to get the courage to actually say hi to her and make a move. in that 1 year we exchanged or rather i wrote her letters (as what we chinese would say KAO her) and whenever i was back in brunei we would spend hours chatting on msn about everything. i remember the first time we chatted it was till 4am... since then we've had 6 anniversary chats and a record 6am chat. hehehe...

-> ok i am off for lunch. am now in the office doing absolutely nothing... no calls so far and i'm hungry... wonder wat angel is having for lunch and where... prob she's at lucky know them... eating wat? hakka noodles of course.. unless today cos i'm not there so she's having pan mee. hehehe.. we shall see wat angel comments later one when she comes online at 4. ta ta